Sadness and Silliness

What a strange season this is.

There are hard things happening. My precious grandfather's health is declining and it is such a heart-rending thing to watch. Some days I feel strong and then other days the tears sneak up on me when I least expect them. Today it was while I was on the treadmill. I ran while I sobbed.

But at the same time there are beautiful things happening. My nephew, Jack, will be born in just over a month, and we are all so excited to meet him. Three of my four sisters and I spent a sisters weekend in Napa this last weekend and had a good time.

In the middle of my sadness this morning about my grandfather, my sister, Whitney, sent me some wonderful photos from this last weekend in Napa that made me giggle out loud. I don't have any doubt that my grandfather would have had a huge smile on his face if he could have watched and listened to our sister silliness.

This evening I am struck by the fact that what is good, happy and fun weighs just as much as grief, pain and sadness. That I can feel "both/and," and that what really matters is the heart-to-heart connection with those I am sharing this life with that exists in, around and through both the sadness and the silliness.