Living in a Beautiful Mess

This is something I wrote way back here...and today feel just sick I haven't lived it. I KNOW this. It's like part of my head knows it and part of my head doesn't. Tears today as I'm just aching over the pain I've caused by acting out of fear rather than love ... again. So I'm reading these words (that I WROTE!) and hoping I can live into them:

"This is unconditional love: being a mirror, mirroring the goodness in the other to them, not knowing if they will reciprocate.


This is unconditional love: knowing exactly how one wants most to be loved and giving that to another without strings attached.

This is unconditional love: loving fiercely and extravagantly without holding back.

This is unconditional love: loving the other in all these ways EVEN IF the other person doesn't even "get" or "appreciate" that you are doing so, or understand/acknowledge the risk that it took for you to do so.

This is unconditional love: even allowing the person you love to walk away if they decide to but allowing your love to follow them for the rest of your life.

This is unconditional love: to choose to continue to see the other person for who they really are, and not to label them in a negative way, even if they reject you.

This is unconditional love: to, even after you are rejected, persist as far as you are able to communicate to the person in that mirroring sort of way all the beauty and goodness you experienced of them. In other words, thank them for the gift of the time they did give you, the parts of you they did show you and the way that you were altered in positive ways by having had contact with them." 

(from here)