"Defense is the first act of war. If you tell me that I'm mean, rejecting, hard, unkind, or unfair, I say 'Thank you, Sweetheart, I can find all those things in my life, I have been everything you say, and more. Together we can help me understand. Without you, how can I know the places in me that are unkind and invisible? So, Sweetheart, look into my eyes and tell me again. I want you to give me everything."