Living in a Beautiful Mess

I want to consciously listen to my mind-body more, but to listen with the understanding that my mind-body is always in fight-or-flight mode, trying to stop feeling afraid or in pain. That's what mind bodies do; that's their nature. But it is this mind-body that I am in and though it is very childish in the way it responds to fear, it also has is capable of positive feelings, sensations, and the ability to feel pleasure.

This is rather like being unemployed: you look back on the time you were unemployed and you think, "Wow I could have experienced that as a break/vacation/sabbatical, but instead I spent the whole time feeling anxiety."

I don't know how long my spirit will have a human experience in this body, or 'a body at all, so each day is precious. While I have use of this body I want to experience as much content, peace, love, hugs, kisses, love-making, orgasm, yummy food, laughter, loving touch, back rubs, adrenaline rushes after a long run, warm bath water, "butterflies" in my tummy, cuddles, warm socks on cold feet, and the smell of a campfires, Carmel beach at sundown, and a newborn baby's head.